is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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