The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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