Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
