The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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