he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
foreskin is a definite game changer
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
