tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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