doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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