Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i will never coherently bang her
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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