i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
