I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
