i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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