It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
