her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
it hurts more in the daytime
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
