We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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