Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
It's just like the Real World with babies
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
