she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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