The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
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