i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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