Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
