All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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