hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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