I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
