You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
My balls are so social today.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
