I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
