Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
