I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
