Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
