everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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