I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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