You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I would ride that face into the sunset
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
