apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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