My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
