she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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