Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i drank out of a bidet.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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