so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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