Your dad touched me again.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
