I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
