i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
