Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
