If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
