I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
