used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Randomize
