I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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