I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
