White coat. Heels.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
