Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
