If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
