Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize