PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
