tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
