remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
